Includes bibliographical references and index.

Introduction: How they see you, how they don't -- Why it's so hard to understand each other. You are surprisingly hard to understand ; Your observers are cognitive misers (and so are you) ; The two phases of perceiving people -- The lenses that shape perception. The trust lens ; The power lens ; The ego lens -- Lenses for particular personalities. Eager reward-seekers and vigilant risk-mitigators ; The clingy, anxious perceiver and the aloof, avoidant perceiver -- Being seen, and seeing others, more accurately. Correcting bad impressions and overcoming misunderstandings -- Conclusion: Becoming a better judge of others-- and of yourself.

Have you ever had the feeling that you're just not getting through to the person you're talking with, or coming across the way you intend to? You're not alone. Our usual approach is to just talk louder, to try harder to get our message through. This is almost always the wrong approach. Why? Because other people almost never see us the way we see ourselves. Fortunately, these distortions in perception are systematic, understandable, and surmountable. Heidi Grant Halvorson shows you how to communicate effectively - despite these unintentional (yet widespread) distortions of perception.